IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic
The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer:
A vast majority of our adult life is spent working; hence it is important that we have an appropriate job that fulfils our aspirations. While financial remuneration is an important factor that attracts individuals towards a specific work, I disagree that it is the most significant factor that makes a job ideal.
Firstly, the importance of financial security cannot be undermined in the modern materialistic world. Since a vast majority of people earn their livelihood from their workplace, it will be difficult for individuals with single source of income, to make their ends meet, from underpaying jobs. Thus underpaid employees, because of their financial burdens, may not be able to offer dedication and commitment at workplace, which in turn results in under-performance. Secondly, the educated refrain from being employed in underpaying jobs, as these are less attractive. Hence the remuneration associated, is an important factor that determines the value of a particular job.
On the other hand, to glorify higher earning as the sole determiner of an ideal job is incorrect. This is because various other factors like work and life balance; working place culture and adequate recognition contribute towards satisfaction and contentment in work. Thus an astronomically higher paying job with a demanding employer, with poor social life in a tedious work place environment will lead to higher job dissatisfaction, which in turn will also promote higher attrition.
Henceforth, it can be stated that apart from financial remuneration, which is a major determiner of a good occupation, job satisfaction is also an equally important associated factor that determines the value of a specific job.
Total Words: 265
Task Achievement: 9
Coherence & Cohesion: 9
Lexical resources: 9
Grammar: 9
Overall Score: Band 9
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Comments are closed.
the above essay is really excellent with lucid explanation.
Thanks Madhavi.
hi its an agree or disagree essay so it should lean towards on or the other buts its given as dicussion
hi its an agree or disagree essay so it should lean towards on or the other buts its given as discussion
Hi Sakul,
Good catch! The intro should’ve stated the writers agreement/disagreement clearly. I have updated the essay.
You can still discuss both sides as long as you say why you agree/disagree with the claim sentence in the question.
Hiii the essay s very impressive
Hi Kiran,
Hope your IELTS preparation is going well. Let us know if you ned nay specific help.
hey its a really essay but if it is agree and disagree essay we have to go in the favour of one either agree or disagree or we have to discuss both
Hi Sanya,
Both options are correct.
Quite sophisticated. Sure it’d get a 9/9.
Hlo
The writer stated his disagreemnt in intro…bt how he can elborate both views..becuse he is only disagree with the statemnt
Dear Gurjeet,
When the question is “do you agree or disagree”, you have the option to agree “completely” or “partially”. If you agree completely then you can write only about one view .. otherwise write 1 paragraph for each view.
When the question says “discuss both views” , you MUST write about both views.
Hope this helps.
Atul.
i think first sentence should e a vast majority of our adult life is spent on working..
Dear Aatika,
You could say “a vast majority of our adult life is spent at work”… However “on working” would be incorrect.
Hope this helps.
Linkers look way too unnatural. Hence for 3 times? Really?
financial remuneration is used in both intro and CONCLUSION section. Again, what for? It’s again used im para 2. What for? I’m not an IELTS examiner or teacher, but the whole thing looks like an appemt to show off. Which is fine at bands 8-9, but only as long as it looks natural. Only imho
VERY USEFUL AWESOME