IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic

Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write at least 250 words.


Model Answer:

It is often argued that longer duration of punitive confinement serves as an apt punishment for criminals and leads to a reduction in crime rates. However, others are of the opinion that the issue of growing crimes can be managed in a better way. In my essay, I will try to analyze both sides of the argument and come to a reasonable conclusion. 

On the one hand, it cannot be rejected that rigorous punishments such as longer stays in prison serve as a deterrent for criminals in many ways. Firstly, it acts as a warning by the law that heinous, antisocial acts are intolerable and unacceptable. This will make the public think several times before committing a cold-blooded crime. For instance, life imprisonment and sometimes, even capital punishment is given in pre-planned murders and gruesome assault eases. To give a clear signal to the society that bestiality will receive highest degrees of punishments. In addition, longer prison stays of such hardcore criminals ensure that these people do not roam freely in the society and commit more crimes along their way. Thus, it ensures less threat to the society from these anti-social elements. To illustrate, in a recent survey conducted in Mumbai, it was clearly shown that awarding longer imprisonment of 10 years for sexual assault cases lead to a decrease in the incidents of sexual crimes by 18%.



On the other hand, it is indeed true that there are possibly better ways of reducing crime rates. This is so because crime is a consequence of the circumstances. Nobody is born a criminal. Society needs to delve deeply into the situation which gives rise to a criminal and should try to nip it in the bud. For example, deprivement is the prime reason for a person to commit a crime. So if the government ensures standard health care, housing and education of its citizens, the incidents of human trafficking and robbery may not occur. To prove, Singapore has very low crime rates because of the infrastructure and financial support extended by the State to its citizens. Secondly, target groups which have the tendency to gravitate towards crime can be brought to the mainstream by involving them in productive activities. An empty mind is a devils workshop. To illustrate, a survey conducted in the US in 2016 clearly showed that the crime rates drastically fell by 40% when children of single-parent families, school dropouts, and drug addicts were given vocational training so that they could earn their livelihood. 

To conclude, in my opinion, just punishing a criminal by putting him behind bars for a longer duration will not solve the problem of rising crime rates. The causative factors for crime need to be curbed in order to make the society a safer and better place to live. 

Total Words: 450

Task Achievement: 9

Coherence & Cohesion: 9

Lexical resources: 9

Grammar: 9

Overall Score: Band 9

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2 Comments

Comments are closed.

  1. Shrikant 4 years ago

    The word limit is 250, but he/she wrote 450. How do you give 9 band here?

  2. IELTS Online Practice 4 years ago

    Dear Shrikant,

    There is no upper word limit in IELTS. You only get penalised if you write under 250 words for task 2 and under 150 words for task 1.

    The only down side of writing a long essay is that you might end up making more mistakes in grammar and LR. Moreover, you might not be left with enough time to proofread your essay.

    Hope this helps.

    Cheers,
    Atul.

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