IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
Model Answer:
With modernization comes the globalization of restaurants that feed the majority of the worlds work driven population. Consequently, there is a staggering, disturbing rise in the rates of childhood obesity, especially in western countries. As today's children are the future of tomorrow, it's essential to discuss the reasons for and impacts of obesity.
Firstly, the flourishing restaurants negatively towards the plethora of overweight children. On average in the United States there is one fast food outlet within every 3km radius. This frequency combined with mesmerizing T.V commercials and busy adult work schedules, makes it immensely difficult for parents to prevent food low in nutritional value, from entering their child's meals. Secondly, children have become overly lazy. Bombarded by computer games and T.V shows, children spend less than 5% of their time on finishing their homework, let alone setting aside the to venture outside for exercise. Physical activity is being deemed unimportant, despite it's long term health benefits.
However, there are numerous adverse effects on children adapted to unhealthy eating habits. A balanced diet is crucial for longevity and the overall well being of a child, both of which are deprived once fast food is consumed on a regular basis. Doctors across the world are shocked to see 6 year old kids now dying of strokes and heart attacks, caused by cholesterol build ups. Junk food leaves the young tired and exhausted due to a lack of essential carbohydrates and proteins and so are unable to perform at their peak, whether it be education or sports.
In conclusion, the growing numbers of overweight kids are becoming a world wide epidemic. Our children are thus put under grave circumstances such as poor mental and physical health or even death.
Total Words: 274
Task Achievement: 8
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
Lexical resources: 7
Grammar: 8
Overall Score: Band 7.5
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Sir how to improve the writing skills vocabulary and I don’t know anything writing skills how to improve sir
Hi Shekhar,
I have sent you an email with some tips.
Feel free to reach out if you have more questions.
Cheers,
Atul.