IELTS Writing Task 2 essay with model answer

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.


Model Answer:

With modernization comes the globalization of restaurants that feed the majority of the worlds work driven population. Consequently, there is a staggering, disturbing rise in the rates of childhood obesity, especially in western countries. As today's children are the future of tomorrow, it's essential to discuss the reasons for and impacts of obesity.

Firstly, the flourishing restaurants  negatively towards the plethora of overweight children. On average in the United States there is one  fast food outlet within every 3km radius. This frequency combined with  mesmerizing T.V commercials and busy adult work schedules, makes it immensely difficult for parents to prevent food low in nutritional value, from entering their child's meals. Secondly, children have become overly lazy. Bombarded  by computer games and T.V shows, children spend less than 5% of their time on finishing their homework, let alone setting aside the to venture outside for exercise. Physical activity is being deemed unimportant, despite it's long term health benefits.



However, there are numerous adverse effects on children adapted to unhealthy eating habits. A balanced diet is crucial for longevity and the overall well being of a child, both of which are deprived once fast food is consumed on a regular basis. Doctors across the world are shocked to see 6 year old kids  now dying of strokes and heart attacks, caused by cholesterol build ups. Junk food leaves the young tired and exhausted due to a lack of essential carbohydrates and proteins and so are unable to perform at their peak, whether it be education or sports.

In conclusion, the growing numbers of overweight kids are becoming a world wide epidemic. Our children are thus put under grave circumstances such as poor mental and physical health or even death.

Total Words: 274

Task Achievement: 8

Coherence & Cohesion: 7

Lexical resources: 7

Grammar: 8

Overall Score: Band 7.5

For unlimited feedback with detailed corrections for speaking and writing tasks, sign up for IELTS Twenty20 Online Course today!

Study 20 minutes a day for 20 days and Ace the IELTS exam.

Tags:


IELTS Score Calculators and Estimators:

Useful FREE resources for IELTS preparation:

Tutorials on Essay Writing


Finally, if you need ongoing feedback from an experienced IELTS teacher for your writing or speaking tasks, simply subscribe to one of our IELTS CORRECTION packs


Say "Hi" on our social media channels...


2 Comments

Comments are closed.

  1. Shekar 5 years ago

    Sir how to improve the writing skills vocabulary and I don’t know anything writing skills how to improve sir

  2. Author
    IELTS Online Practice 5 years ago

    Hi Shekhar,
    I have sent you an email with some tips.
    Feel free to reach out if you have more questions.
    Cheers,
    Atul.

©2012-2024 All prices are in USD. IELTS Online Practice is provided by Wisekangaroo Pty Ltd (ABN: 86 159 373 770)

CONTACT US

Send us an email with any questions about our courses and we'll get back to you, asap.

Sending
or

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?